Blood Moon Rising

Super Moon Blood Moon Lunar Eclipse 9/27/15 photo by Kevin Tomasello

Harvest moon, blood moon, total lunar eclipse, supermoon: all this happened at once this month. The moon was its closest to the Earth on September 27 to 28th, causing its greatest gravitational pull on our planet and offering a rare view of our nearest orbiting neighbor. A super moon is the closest full moon to the earth, which makes for a gigantic luminescent orb as it rises in the darkening sky. Although the term blood moon denotes gothic images of werewolves, vampires, and witches, its scientific meaning is less dramatic. A blood moon is a relatively new term for the fourth total lunar eclipse in a tetrad: four total lunar eclipses separated by six full moons (six months) with no partial eclipses between. According to Earth and Sky earthsky.org,  the term blood moon carries religious significance as a prophesy for the end of time. I'll let you read more about that on their website, but there seem to be so many signs of the end of days that I wonder if these days are in fact much longer than our 24 hour days? In any event, it makes for a spectacular night image with associated chills up one's spine. This moon also has the distinction of being a harvest moon: the full moon that shines closest to the autumnal equinox. The brightness of this full moon supposedly allowed farmers to work at peak harvest late into the night. Great story fodder, in any event!

I've been feeling the gravitational pull of my writing. It's been a struggle lately, juggling an increasingly stressful full time job with the utter need to write. Most of my days and nights are spent piecemeal: tiny morsels of time spent on projects that scream for intense, in-depth immersion. I find myself desperate for any tidbits of distracting creativity: a line of a poem, a musical phrase, quiet solitude for contemplation and gazing at my toenails, searching for the right words to lay down on the page. Any writing accomplished is like blood-letting: laborious, scrutinized, depressing, a strangled glut of words choked from a moldy gourd. Recently, a pleasant, although obviously non-writer gentleman informed me that he didn't see the problem with writing a book. "You just come up with an outline and write it out, don't you?" I nodded, teeth clenched, head wobbling like a pumpkin on a corn stalk. If it were that easy, I suppose I would have a thousand books by now. Perhaps, a book should appear easily written, like a doctor who breezes in for a five minute visit with his or her patient, quickly diagnosing and treating a medical problem. No one sees the eight or more years of schooling and the four or more years of residency: the extended sleepless marathons of common colds and domestic abuse cases; the wretched consequences of mistakes; the soul-battering humiliation and genuine fear of not being an immediate expert. Everyone thinks they know what it is because they read it on the internet or their second cousin's nephew's girlfriend is a nurse and she said ...

Not to compare writng to medicine, but why not? It requires the skill of a surgeon, the language application of a linguist, the most passionate open-heart imaginable, and the full-body armor of a knight: not to mention the total exposure of your very soul to the whole world. To all my writer friends out there: may the blood of passion eclipse your doubts and reap your best harvest as you grow and grow and GROW.

First, Get Outside...

Photo of author in her kayak by Kevin Tomasello c. 2015

I need a distraction from working on my new novel--okay, not really, I need an excuse not to work on it. Actually, a little procrastination goes a long way. Too long. I have a whole list of writing projects I need to work on, so why do I hesitate? My mind craves silence...and nature. Ideas rush between the tortuous convulusions of my cerebrum, yet I balk at putting them to page. My much more prolific colleagues continue to create and publish every scribbled thought--or so it seems--while my words thunk to the page with all the elegance of a corpse.

The truth is, I have been pulled away from writing by the bodacious bounty of a rare and splendid summer. The hot sun has been tempered by the low humidity--almost impossible in this Susquahanna River valley, nicknamed "Sinus Valley" for good reason. Even without a breeze, the air has been warm and dry with a hint of the Atlantic sneaking in from the far-off coast. Our little dog Teddy raises his muzzle often, as if to sniff the salt air. We are several hundred miles from the coast, however, and even further from the wonderfully rocky Maine coast we love so much. Not the crowded Downeast known to most vacationers, but further up, to Acadia's Schoodic pennisula and beyond. My husband and I were married on a fishing boat 14 years ago, in the harbor. Sadly, our paradise has been discovered by developers and summer in Bar Harbor has been lost to a bulky luxury hotel that juts out into the water while masses of sightseers crowd the streets. For the first time last summer, it was a chore to buy a week's pass to Acadia National Park. People spilled from the crush of the parking lot into the park office like marshmallow Easter Peeps squished in their box. The beauty of Maine's craggy coastline, though, is that there is so much of it that one can find hidden gems in its lesser known crevices. There I go, off on a tangent again. Ah, the winding mind of a wanderer.

Anyway, I have been soaking up the glorious days of this solstice before they get away. Occasionally wracked by guilt for not writing every day, I have taken long weekends away from my day job to bicycle the rolling hills, paddle the river, amble through the local park with my spouse and my dog, pluck juicy tomatoes and alarming zucchini monsters from the garden, and generally goof off. I don't feel too bad, though (says my wretched, sniveling, shackled inner writer). Soon enough, the leaves will fall and the bite of winter will arrive. There will be plenty of days to document all this rumination. Hopefully, those pasty white words will lose some of their dead weight and dance upon the page like snowflakes. For now, let the sweet sun shine!

Thank the stars for the dark night, or I'd never get any writing done.

Summertime...Lessons Learned

Author with Teddy In Ithaca

Okay, this photo is a few years old, but the subjects look about the same. I've been trying to focus on writing the next book, but I do get distracted by the beautiful weather lately. I wrote a chapter tonight on Novel 2, but I haven't been keeping up with my blog, so I thought I'd take a few moments to write an update.

We had a heavy downpour here this afternoon: cancelling our plans for bike riding or walking the dog, but helping me get back to work on my writing with little regret. It's been difficult to stay the course. My debut novel WHERE THE HEART LANDS has been doing well, but the process of discovery is slow. I know I need to get more of my work out there, but so many things tear me away from the writing each day: full-time job as a speech language pathologist, husband who likes to do things with me, and furry family members who demand attention, treats, walks, and petting. My son is all grown up and now a married man with his own demands, but I still miss him and want to talk to him all the time. The weather in upstate New York has been spectacular. A rare and welcome treat. This summer has been cooler--in the 70s and low 80s with lots of sunshine, and plenty of rain in between. We're due for a heat wave this week, but it still feels like Fall is just around the corner. The seasons move so fast any more, like life.

As I grow older, I cherish the beautiful things so much more. Is it my imagination, or are the weekends and summer days growing shorter? I wish I could talk to my 20-year-old self with the knowledge I've gained in the thirty years since. What would I tell that feckless young woman?

1) Chase your dreams, you might not get another chance.
2) Work hard, and love your work. Don't be such a lazy ass!
3) Be kind to everyone, mean people need it more than anyone else.
4) A smile works much better than an angry word.
5) Forgive yourself, you're never going to be perfect.
6) Don't dwell on the past, it doesn't change a thing!
7) Tell people what you love about them.
8) Give up the people and things that don't love you back, without regret.
9) It's okay to be still sometimes.
10) Listen more than you talk. You will learn much more than you ever imagined.

Enjoy each day, my friends. There will never be another like it!

Dog Days of Writing

Teddy sound asleep in the shade of the Burning Bush.

It's the dog days of summer this weekend. Hot, humid temperatures after a mostly cool, pleasant season so far. Teddy does what most dogs do during the smoldering heat--sticks to the shade.

We spent all day yesterday pulling out overgrown weed trees and other jungle-like growths spilling over from the neighbor's into our gardens. We were a little grumbly at first, then we decided to ask our neighbor if she minded if we cut down some stuff on her side of the fence. She was relieved and even offered homemade iced tea after she came out to help. We spent the afternoon sweating and hauling brush as we chatted and learned more about each other's lives. She is recently divorced and raising a daughter with health problems. Not much time or care for what her garden was doing. A good reminder not to judge your neighbor.

Today a nice bicycle ride with a friend we haven't seen in a while. The 93 degrees didn't seem quite so bad with the breeze! I've been re-reading May Sarton's journals--THE HOUSE BY THE SEA after reading JOURNAL OF A SOLITUDE. An intelligent, somewhat tortured, talented soul who greatly inspires me. She is more positive in SEA, where she moves into a rented house on the coast of Maine. Maine is a special place for me, but today I am grateful for our little home on the hill with our wild gardens and good bicycling roads. Trips to Maine help me with my ocean fixation. I love that rocky coast with the mountains and sea in one stunning place. If it weren't so far from family, we would be there all the time.

I've been getting some positive feedback on my novel WHERE THE HEART LANDS and knocked out over a thousand words tonight on the new novel. Back to work at the day job tomorrow, then another day "off" of more writing and, if the weather holds--another bicycle ride. Life is what you make it. Sometimes I need a kick in the pants to remember.

Do something that inspires you today.

No Time for Hate

Photo of author by Kevin Tomasello

It's been a busy couple months and updating my blog has taken a back seat to wonderful things, such as a trip to Minneapolis for my son and daughter-in-law's wedding, responding to requests for information about me and my book for the Ithaca College alumni association, and spending an evening with a wonderful group of readers who invited me to their bookclub meeting after reading Where the Heart Lands. I've also been focusing on the writing of my second novel, getting the garden and the yard in shape, and working at my full-time day job as a speech language pathologist. Now that summer is here, more bicycle riding outside is essential!

Usually, I try to keep politics out of my blog posts, but I have to give a shout out to The Supreme Court for ruling that all people who choose to marry may do so legally: Finally! After all the news about racially motivated murder and general hatred towards any of our fellow human or animal beings lately, this was uplifting. Sometimes love wins!

I don't know about you, but I don't have time or patience for hate. I don't care why you hate, there is no benefit to promoting hatred of anyone. We all have baggage. We all have feelings. Many of us had really screwed up childhoods. This does not mean that it is okay to hurt someone else or to hurt animals. Nothing good comes to a society that tolerates hatred of its members or hatred of those who are not us or harming those who are vulnerable! We are all equal in this country, remember? Not some, not a select few, but ALL. Each one of us has an obligation to promote the good for the good of all of us: every one. Instead of spending all that energy on hate, why not spend it on trying to become a better, more caring human being?

Blessings to all the newlyweds! Peace and harmony to you all.

Remembering Souls

Photo by Kevin Tomasello c. 2013

Where does the time go? The passage of time seems to speed up as I grow older. My little boy, Mitchell, was just splashing through rain puddles a minute ago, and next weekend he is getting married! My niece, Rachel, is graduating from high school in two weeks. Life passes in a blink any more.

On this day, we remember those who were taken from us much too soon: my grandfather Walter; mother-in-law, Jean; brother-in-law, Jim; our nephew, Kyle; and my father-in-law, Vito, a Sea Bee in WWII. And then there are all the men and women and service animals who gave their lives while protecting our country. We should never forget them and what they gave up for the rest of us.

When I am missing people too much, I like to remember something I read by Ram Daas in his book Still Here. He reminds us that our souls continue on, even after our bodies are discarded. I like to think of my body as a temporary wrapper for my Soul, when I am in a more open conscious state than usual. Ram Daas relates a story in Still Here where he heard an interview with Pat Rodegast, a pyschic medium through whom a being from beyond named Emmanuel described death as "absolutely safe...It's like taking off a tight shoe." Well, that sounds just wonderful to me. I only hope I can greet death with this relief when my time comes.

Our time in these earth bodies is short. Perhaps those who were more evolved were allowed to leave their bodies a little sooner. Either way, how do you want to live your particular life? In struggle or in gratitude? My dear friend and extraordinarily talented writer, Gregory Norris http://gregorylnorris.blogspot.com/ has learned to live his life with gratitude. Not a stranger to struggle, he chooses to focus on the positive parts of his life and is such a genuine person that his light shines over everyone. Once forced to live in his car with his significant other and his fur family, he chooses not to hold on to bitterness. Instead, he teaches by example, easily giving his time and his encouragement to anyone who needs it. I am constantly inspired by the people I treat in my other job as a speech pathologist: those who have survived stroke and brain injury, and must learn how to interact with the world as a different person.

Here is what I've learned: live your life to its fullest. Spread joy. Live as though you will be back again to try again and again, each time better than before.

In the spirit of giving back, I am giving away 10 free copies of my novel Where the Heart Lands on Goodreads. I would love your feedback and your thoughts. Here is the link for the giveaway: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/25127420-where-the-heart-lands and here is my email address: laurajbear@gmail.com.

Many happinesses to you all.

Caring for the Soul While Getting Down to Business

Photo by Author 

It's that time of year: writing retreat on The Lake. Despite the snow flurries, the sound of the the waves is soothing and the view is spectacular from the desk in my room. You'll have to wait until I'm back home to see it, but here's a nearby magnolia bloom from a different year (the magnolia blossoms are still tight buds outside the house this year). My jaw and neck and shoulders are loose as the stress of the last few weeks slides out into the water, carried away by the wind and the churning of the waves. No phones, no sick animals, no household demands for a glorious four days. Just what my soul needed and my muse required. I have work to do. WHERE THE HEART LANDS is out there, searching for more readers. But, I must get back to work on the next book. There's been only snipets of time and less desire. A nurse at work yesterday came up to me to tell me how much she enjoyed WHERE THE HEART LANDS. After a rather disheartening few weeks of book promotion, these positive words lifted my heart. I wish I could say that I just write for the thrill of it, but the truth is, I need to know that people are reading and enjoying what I write. It makes the lonely journey of filling pages worth the effort. As much as I need to write, it still doesn't always come easily. Almost never, in fact. So, why do it?

I do it to learn about myself and the world. I do it to express all the jumble inside my head in a more cohesive way. I do it because I am compelled to do it. Because the urge never leaves me alone. Because it comes from somewhere else, somewhere deep and dark and scary (sometimes) or from joy (once in a while). Because a story wants to come out whether I mean it to or not. Hallelujah when someone takes the time to read it and especially when they let me know what it meant to them. I am humbled and exhalted that another person is moved to share their experience of the work with me. This is why I write.

Time to get down to business.

If you like, check out my website : www.laurajbear.com or order WHERE THE HEART LANDS from my publisher www.unsolicitedpress.com or through Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Where-Heart-Lands-Laura-Bear-ebook/dp/B00TQUXPZW/ref=la_B00UGHOKQM_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1429810836&sr=1-1 or through Barnes and Noble http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/where-the-heart-lands-laura-j-bear/1121315471?ean=9780692380758 or from two very fine bookstores: RiverRead Books in Binghamton, NY http://www.riverreadbooks.com/search/apachesolr_search/Where%20the%20Heart%20lands and Buffalo Street Books in Ithaca, NY http://www.buffalostreetbooks.com/
Thanks!