|Photo by Laura Bear|
This photo of koi fish in a pond at Tioga gardens is a good symbol of patience. I didn't have patience that day. My husband and I had just bought a new digital camera. I hadn't taken pictures in years, but it was something I used to do quite often. We went to Tioga Gardens here in Owego to practice taking close-ups of flowers while we learned how to use the camera settings. I didn't understand that the focus didn't work right if I held the camera too close to the subject.
Every time I framed my shot then came in closer to catch more detail, the camera refused to focus on any part of the picture. I was so frustrated that I lost my own focus. I started yelling at the camera, my husband, the plants...Evil Laura emerged and it wasn't pretty. The more my spouse tried to help me, the more irritated I became. Pride and Embarrassment tantrumed all over Rational, and my spouse took the brunt of it. I had to break away for a while to calm myself down.
Even though I was ready to throw the camera, my husband let me take it--probably out of fear for his life. I stopped in front of the koi pond in the giant greenhouse area and watched the fish. My breathing slowed in time to the ripples of fish as they swam across the water in random patterns. I waited with my camera focused on one spot until several fish came together in the frame. Then I snapped my photo.
Now I am focusing on the writing. It's too overwhelming to focus on trying to write the right thing, trying to get published, trying to figure out social media, trying to figure out the business of writing. These things will come in time. I am not a patient person. I want to know things right away. But, I am better at waiting than I used to be. I like to think of it as productive waiting, which helps quell the need to do something.
I am pleased to say I have begun my second novel. It's only in its infant stages, but I have an idea to develop. Only with patience and attention can I grow that idea into a story. Patience that the process of writing is the teacher. Writing will guide me to what comes next. One word at a time. I am grateful for the desire and the ability to do it. For now, that's enough.
Thank you for reading.